Confessions of an Embittered Mind: The Pussification on the ESRB

You know, last year, when the whole "Hot Coffee-Gate" scandal hit last year, I was all for the ESRB's decision to change the ratings of the orignally released versions of GTA: San Andreasfrom an "M" rating--for "mature", or 17+--to "AO"--for Adult Only. It was something that Rockstar had forgot to leave on the editing room floor, and they got fucked for it. What's worse, they lied about it being there, claiming it was the work of hackers, untill they got busted for that too. While I think crazies like Jack Thompson and more-right-wing-than-she'll-admit-too Hilary Clinton went a little to far on the subject, I think the ESRB's decision was warrented.

Then again, I could be wrong. Apperantly the ESRB's new target is Bethesda, makers of the now ubiquitous and life-consuming The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. From the ESRB's statement, they have decided to change Oblivion's rating from "T"--13 and up--to "M", due to ""more detailed depictions of blood and gore than were considered in the original rating" as well as "the discovery of a locked skin allowing players to make their on-screen female heroes topless. A third-party modification unlocks the skin in the PC version."

The ESRB is really dissapointing me here, especially after it's talk last year after Hot coffee about being unbiased and, unlike the National Institute for Medan and the Family, unmoved by outside political pressures. The only reason they are doing it is because of Hot Coffee. According to Bethesda, the ESRB was well informed about the game's content in terms of portrayal of violence--which, quite franly, is no where near as graphic as say, God of War, or Resident Evil. That's not to say that developers don't bullshit, but frankly I can't see Oblivion, of all games, being the next gaming scandal.

Which leaves us with the whole nudity issue. Let's get one thing straight, here and now: as long as there are modders, and free downloadable SDK's, there will be third-party mods. And as long as there are taboos on things like nudity, sexuality, or "bathing-suit areas", there will be mods that make virtual women-folk have virtual gibblies. There's nothing you can do to stop that. So, what's it going to be? Are we going to take a well-touted element of games like Oblivion by prohibiting modding all together--and if so, does that mean the Mrs. Pac-Man centerfold is on hold? Or is the gaming industry finally gonna grow some balls and defend itself here? I mean, just a few months ago we had gay cowboys on the big screen, viewed by millions upon millions of people. No one batted an eyelash. What would happen if a game had homosexual narritives in it? You really think guys like Jack Thompson would skip a beat before claiming it a crime against children?

I guess I can take some solace in the fact that Bethesda got it right by not backing down. They can't exactly change the ESRB's decision, but they aren't going to change their game, neither. This is an industry that self-regulates its rating system, as well as damn near every other system it has to regulate. If, in its most critical hour, it's going to bend to the will of the God-fearing God fearers, then we may as well give up now. Frankly, I don't want to be around for the day that Mario gets rated "M" for depictions of drug use.

Peace,
Ram