"Set Phasors to Snowballing", AKA "Ribbed for your pleasure, since that cunt does none of the work"

The trailer for Spider-Man 3 is up. Anyone who doesn't get goose-pimplies has no soul.

I'm still not huge on the whole "Foreman is Eddie Brock" fiasco--I never did like the Ultimate Spider-Man take on Venom--but i'm hoping that, at least for this movie, it doesn't matter. I haven't read up on it in a while, but last bit of info I did read was that Eddie doesn't turn into venom untill the end of this movie, setting him up as the villain in Spider-Man 4. If that's true, then at least we won't have to deal with too much Topher Grace, and get plenty of once-again-conflicted Peter Parker.

Plus, who doesn't fucking love Venom? I mean c'mon!

Peace,
Ram

Prey - A preview

One game I've been really amped about the last little while is Prey, an FPS from Human Head and 3D Realms--of Duke Nukem fame--which has been in production for, like, ever. Pretty much as long as Duke Nukem Forever, except this game actually exists. Being the huge FPS fanboy that I am, the unique features that this game is bringing to the table--namely one-sided portals and gravity flipping--have me totally jonesed. The demo came out Thursday, and it seems to be shaping up quite nicely.

The story in a nutshell is this: your play a Cherokee man named Tommy. He hates the Indian reserve he currently resides in and wants to escape it as fast as possible. His girlfriend refuses to leave with him, and his grandfather--who's name in the credits is "grandfather"--is desperately trying to make Tommy embrace the ways of his ancestors. Soon after the game begins, weird green lights start shooting down from the sky and suck you, your girlfriend, your grandfather, and the bar you're sitting in up into this giant spherical spaceship above earth. It's up to you to find a way to save your friends and escape the ship. The demo runs you through the first five levels, giving you a small taste of what is to come.

Graphically, this game is fairly impressive. Human Head has taken then Doom 3 engine here and gave it a serious overhaul. The weird, lumpy character models from Doom have been tweequed quite nicely here, so the humans actually look like humans. Prey's visuals are structured entirely around a very organic design. The ship itself looks like a living, breathing entity, complete with pulsating walls and random oozing orifices. Even the weapon designs are uniquely organic. The first weapon you get is a sort of automatic pistol with which you are able to zoom by having this little snake-like creature lach onto your eye. It makes for some very immersive gameplay.

One of the main concerns I had with this game was the combat. Doom 3 had some very lame enemy AI--which didn't know the meaning of cover, somehow knew exactly where you were at all times, and "shocked" you by predictably zapping in as soon as you pick up health packs--and since Prey is using the same engine, it had the potential to fall into the same trap. However the AI is definitely better here, though still nowhere near the caliber of Half-Life 2. In the demo, there are only about four different types of enemies, and only one of them every actively attacks you. The others only come at you if you attack them first--though that doesn't make them weak in any way. One of them can't be killed by a headshot--if you try, it's head will pop right off, and he'll still keep gunning for you. However, unlike Doom, your enemies actually strafe and take cover this time, as well as shoot at you around corners--which for some reason, you aren't able to do. It's not a huge deal, but some people I've talked to find it really irritating that your enemies have a basic function that you don't, even though your character was supposedly trained in the army.

But it's the unique features of that game that had me jonesing for this demo. The main one of these that Human Head has pimped out the hardest is Portals. A little hard to describe, so allow me to use a visual aid:



Essentially, these portals allow you to seamlessly teleport to a completely different section of the level with no load time or other interruption. The demo sports two different types of these: one being circular rips in nothingness, the other appearing as regular doorways. However, both of these can only be accessed from one side. If you were to walk around to the back of a portal doorway or rip, it simply won't be there. It's pretty cool stuff, and they use it quite well in the demo. There's also gravity flipping, which is pretty freakin disorienting, let me tell you. Early on in the demo, you come across a lit-up catwalk that scales the walls and roof of the room you are in, and allows you to walk up it and all around the room. Also, there are rooms that have certain switches you can shoot to flip gravity around, which gets pretty freakin in multiplayer, since there are people in every direction gunning for you. It will be interesting to see if Human Head can actually create an environment with 360 degrees of danger.

I am super amped about Prey. My only hope is that Human Head hasn't blown all of it's cool tricks on its five level demo, and still has some really unique stuff up their sleeves. The game comes out July 10.

Peace,
Ram

"Our fathers were our models for god. If our fathers failed..."

I've been pretty introspective lately. There are a lot of things about my life that I have only begun to realize over the course of the last six months that, due to my so-called "1/5-life-crisis", have forced me into a state of hibernation, a five minute ritual I now go through every morning: one of short-lived paralysation that feels like it has lasted an eternity. I find myself clinging to the ideals of Fight Club and its slings at less-than-adequate father figures; becoming repeatedly consumed by The Suicide Club, desiring its 59 pages of nihilistic integrity and relating to the desperate cowardess in its patrons.

I become terribly annoyed by people--a large majority reeking of dishonesty, disloyalty, feces. Saying one thing, meaning another, and vice-versa. Claiming things like "love", and "respect", acting as if they're mutually exclusive, and becoming angry when you reciprocate. Instead of telling you what's bothering them, they treat you as if they "put up" with you, like their friendship is a cheap christmas present wrapped in newspaper clippings of a brutal homicide.

Who knows. I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and be right as rain. I'll wake up regretting this article about as much as the last time I made out with someone. I'll remember that I probably sounded pretentious and emo. I'll give myself five minutes to question my passions as a gamer/writer/techno junky. I'll think I should probably go to the library instead of finish my Oblivion quest. I'll wonder if I'll ever finish that novel, or if I'm going to be one of those washed up souls who does technical support for Dell, my dreams of being a writer fading away like the memory of a dream. I'll wonder in a neurotic fervour whether or not my friends are saying shit behind my back about something stupid I may have done/said that made me look childish. I'll wonder why she said she never wanted me to change.

Then I'll pick myself up, like I do every morning, when those five minutes are over. I'll look in the mirror, laugh at myself a little, and realize it's not all that bad. It could be much worse.

Peace,
Ram

Half-Life 2: Episode One - A Review

Playing Half-Life 2 was an interesting experience for me. It was one of those games that, after playing it, it was hard for me not to compare all future FPS games to it. For me, it didn't just raise the bar, it became the bar-and although I probably liked it a bit more than most, it's hard to deny that it was one of the best FPS games of all time. Months of anticipation later, Valve has finally released Half-Life 2: Episode One the next chapter in Gordon Freeman's fight against the Combine, and for the most part it keeps up the standard that Half-Life 2 set. Since this game is Episodic, it is significantly shorter than the previous games in the series, while adding nice little touches to nearly perfect the formula

Episode One begins right where it's predecessor left off, with Gordon and Alyx surviving the explosion at the end of Half-Life 2. Gordon has been freed from the G-man's control, and the story mostly revolves around Gordon and Alyx fleeing from City 17. Valve's storytelling is still as cryptic as ever, though, since you never get a full explanation as to who the G-Man is, or his relationship with Gordon, and there are plenty of new questions left unresolved at the end of this chapter.

While the story may leave you wanting more, the gameplay more than makes up for it. You'll find all of the same great action from previous Half-Life games. All enemies from Half-Life 2 are here, as well as two new additions: Stalkers, which are physically mutated humans--think the Borg but less cybernetics--and Zombines, which are Combine soldiers who have been zombified by head crabs. The Zombine are an interesting breed, since they'll come at you with grenades kamikaze style. The Combine soldiers are also a bit sharper this time around, with increased variations in their tactics, making it harder to telegraph their movements.

However, the combat in Episode One is made significantly unique by having Alyx accompany you throughout the entire game. Valve's use of NPC AI really shines here. While Alyx's main job is to cover your back, she very rarely gets in the way. She has her own unique set of moves, is always aware of what's going on around her, but isn't invincible, which creates a nice balancing act throughout the game while never feeling like she's getting in the way. The half-assed squade battles from the end of Half-Life 2 are perfected here.

One of the hallmarks of the Half-Life series has been its scripted events, and this is no different in Episode One. There are plenty of memorable moments and scenerios in the game that provide a constant sense of danger and action. All of the original voice cast has returned, and there is a lot of great anhumorousus dialogue. Having Alyx there to comment on each new situation is a simple touch that brings a surprising level of depth to the story and all around gameplay.

The game also looks and sounds as great as Half-Life 2 did, except this time Valve haincorporateded High Dynamic Range (HDR) lighting into the engine. Essentially, this gives each type of light source in the game it's own strength and range of lighting, with the intention of accurately representing the wide range of intensity levels found in real scenes, ranging from direct sunlight to the deepest shadows--so light from the Sun will be stronger and have a wider/longer range than light from, say, a candle, and the form and shade of shadows in a given environment are directly affected by the type of lighting. This new addition does wonders for the look of the game, and basically perfects the already incredible graphics engine of the series.

If there's one real beef I have with Episode One, is that, despite all the nice new touches, it often times feels like more of the same. Since the game is mostly played in the Citadel and inner City 17, you're getting about the same level design as the last five-or-so hours of Half-Life 2--which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just not al that new. This makes sense, since it's only about a five hour game, but it's paced so well that it doesn't really feel like it's over to quickly. It's definitely a nice addition to the franchise, and a must have for fans. Hopefully the next episode will add a bit more variety to the level design.